Lazy Wednesday Afternoons

Lately, Wednesday afternoons have become an unexpectedly good part of my week.  Tuesday, I have class from early morning to after dark.  I come home, totally burnt out and with a crap ton of course work to do over the next week.  I crash, wake up in the morning and go to class.  I always plan to do some work on Wednesday afternoons when I get back home, but I never end up doing so.  I come home totally drained and unable to focus.  So, I bake.  I put my “mellow” playlist on my iPod speaker system, get all the ingredients, and zone out to the tastes, smells and textures of whatever I am making.  Currently, baking sheet number two is in the over, the smell of chocolate, brown sugar and vanilla extract linger in the air, and I look forward to some truly delicious chocolate chip cookies.  There are birds twittering about outside, trees ranging from emerald green to banana yellow to fire engine red are swaying in the breeze, my cat is snoozing upstairs, and I am content.  So often society either expects us to spend all our time on ourselves, or none of it at all.  I say it’s about balance, like pretty much everything else in life.  Life is not always about us, nor should it be.  But every once in a while, take an afternoon, or just a half an hour, and do something you love.  Do something that makes the pit of your stomach calm and your brain slow down.  Do something that makes you a little drowsy yet at the same time recharged.  Take a walk, draw a hot bath, read a chapter of your favorite book or make some cookies.  Enjoy life in its present moment, or else it will pass you by.  Tomorrow will still be there for you to rush about.  Just remember to notice today because tomorrow you can’t have it back.

Life as it happens

Life has been very odd as of late.  Not in a bad or good way, in a changing way.  I’ve been very focused on radical acceptance and I’m internalizing it in a very new way.  There have been a few issues arising as of late, mainly in the temporary yet annoying way such as bad professors, but some things have come up such as dealing with my socioeconomic status.  In the society I live in, if you are born to a certain class, it is very difficult to move up.  I have watched a few very big opportunities slip through my fingers simply because of my lack of funds.  These opportunities would have a long term positive effect on my future, increasing graduate school and job prospects.  My net worth in the long run would increase dramatically.  But I do not have the start up capital to take advantage of these opportunities.  I spent the past few weeks alternating between resentful and frustrated to hopeless and depressed regarding this.  But, I have to accept it.  Accepting doesn’t mean give up.  I will still try to get these opportunities, but I may not be able to.  I have to play the hand I have been dealt in life, but it is up to me how to play it.
Life is a series of ups and downs.  There are good times, bad times, and ambivalent times of varying degrees.  Every single one of those times will end.  Knowing this, the only thing I can do is try to appreciate the good times when they happen, and take comfort in the bad times that they are not forever.  Life isn’t perfect, but if it were how would we know when times are good?  I’ve been finding that the hardest and scariest things in life are usually the most worth doing.  I moved to a completely different country, on my own, not knowing anyone.  It hasn’t been easy, but it hasn’t been as hard as I anticipated.  I find when you are left with nothing but yourself you find what you are made of.  I’ve found I am capable of what I am doing now.  That doesn’t mean I don’t procrastinate on homework or taking out the trash, it means I’m living here and being me.
The hardest part has been establishing human connection.  I’ve reached out many times, but I find most people are so busy they don’t realize they aren’t connecting to the world.  It is frustrating, and disheartening and sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever make friends here, but it’s life.  Relationships take time, and living in a city where people already have their social connections, families and friends and routines, makes it quite hard and takes extra time.  Sometimes I get sad about it, but all I can do is keep trying.  The people worth connecting to are usually the ones open to connection.  I’ve just got to wade through all the rest until I find them.  In the meantime, I will explore this city, its habits and culture, and enjoy living somewhere new.  Life can only be lived in the moment it is happening, and the future will come when it decides to.

Acceptance vs Change

So I was watching Glee the other day.  It happened to be the same day on which I had a conversation with a friend about figuring out what about ourselves we have to accept, and what about ourselves we can change.  The Glee episode coincidentally was about that very topic.  As such, with the reinforcement of that thought, I’ve been talking about it with various people and pondering it on my own.

One person had a very good answer for me on what we have to accept about ourselves.  She said our temperament and our responsiveness are fixed.  That doesn’t mean our behavior regarding those aspects can not be changed, but that our feelings are pretty solid.

For example, I have a somewhat anxious temperament.  I don’t like it, but fighting it doesn’t help, in fact it tends to make things worse.  On the other hand, being aware of it, and aware of the behaviors is causes, helps me change those behaviors, or at least try to.  For example, I find it hard to make eye contact with people I don’t know well, and tend to ramble.  Knowing that, I can put myself in situations where those things are likely to happen, and work on them.  It’s not easy, and at times it makes me queasy, but it gets easier with time.  As for my responsiveness, if people are mean, I will get anxious.  I will also want to cry.  This is going to be a problem if I ever work in customer service, as I will be crying all the time.  But, taking baby steps in dealing with confrontation can make it easier to not start tearing up every time someone raises their voice.

As for you guys, what are some of your fixed qualities that you may not like but have to accept?  How is it working for you?  We’re all so different, it would be interesting to hear.

Why Transcribe Audio Is Awesome

So Youtube has this new-ish feature called Transcribe Audio which, as the name indicates, transcribes what is being said into subtitles.  As one might expect, they are not entirely accurate and lead to some hilarious results.  Check out THIS vlog about Transcribe Audio by gunnarolla, the first vlogger I ever started following.  Also check out some recent videos by songstowearpantsto and the vlogbrothers, who also have some pretty epic Transcribe Audio fails, along with just being great vloggers who people should know about and be able to enjoy.  Are there any videos you know of that have especially funny results with Transcribe Audio?  Let me know in the comments.

Unfortunate Gifts

Pretty much every one of us who are lucky to live in affluent societies has been given a brightly wrapped package at some shindig at one point in our lives.  We have then opened that package only to discover something we would never, ever want.  Or need.  Or even give to charity on a day when we’re feeling like the toy drive bin is too empty.  All of us have experienced Gift Dismay.  Most of us manage to fake a smile, thank the person or people who gave it to us, and find some way to put it off to the side until it can be dealt with.  Sometimes we are lucky and are given a gift to be opened later when we are not around the person who gave it to us and can let out some interesting phrases when said gift is revealed.

Now we face a dilemma.  How the hell can we get rid of this sweater/ceramic bird/ticket to Sierra Leone?  The gift giver may be a frequent house guest who has given you something to furnish your home.  Do you hide it in the garage and bring it out hastily when they come over?  Do you frequently move it around the house until they can’t keep track and you can give it to someone else who doesn’t want it?  There are many options in this scenario, but many involve unwanted storage of something you don’t have room for.  If it is an article of clothing, do you wear it once and hope they forget about it?  Do you conveniently leave it near your cat/dog/baby crocodile’s favorite toy in the hope it will meet an untimely demise?  Do you bribe a sibling to wash it in a manner the label says is a no-no so it only fits babies?

As someone who generally doesn’t like gifts unless they serve a particular need (or are a book/tech/fabulous fabric from India/other awesome thing given to you by friends who I will call S&S, who are the most epic gift givers EVER), I face this problem on occasion.  I don’t celebrate my birthday or Christmas, so this has been much less common since then, but I am still at times given gifts I don’t particularly know what to do with.  Usually I can give them to someone who will actually need or like them, but on occasion I am given an Unintentional White Elephant Gift.  For those of you who don’t know what that is, google it.  I will do a poor job of explaining it if you are too lazy or uninterested: it’s like giving an extremely impoverished person a Ferrari they can’t sell and have to maintain.  Until recently I still had a few of those types of gifts lying around.  Then the Statute of Bad Gift Limitations passed and I got rid of them.  But for those of you who still have some terrible presents lying about like an unwanted roommate, how do you deal with them?  Do you throw them out and deal with the consequences?  Do you construct an elaborate plan in which they meet their doom?  Do you run to get Aunt Muriel’s clay “vase” from the garage when she comes to lunch?  Let me know in the comments.

In Which I Do Not Deal with Dinosaurs

As the title of this blog may indicate, I am studying anthropology.  Now, that said, I need to clear something up.  About half the time I tell people I am studying anthropology, there response is “Cool!  You dig up dinosaur bones!”  First off, no.  Just no.  Anthropology has nothing to do with dinosaurs.  The study of dinosaurs fall under the discipline of Paleontology, which is the study of prehistoric life.  Anthropology, the key part being “anthro”, is the study of humanity.  Unless dinosaurs travel millions of years into the future and we make some sort of hybrid humano-saur, I will not be studying dinosaurs.  In fact, even if that happens, I will not study dinosaurs.  I will stay the hell away from the freak of nature that has been created.  No anthro-saurs for me.

Of the 50% of people who don’t think I study dinosaurs, about 95% still think I dig up bones.  While this is in fact a part of the broad anthropology spectrum, I do not dig things up.  That is what archaeologists are for.  I find digging things up tedious, and dislike getting sunburned and having dirt in uncomfortable places.  I am a cultural anthropology student.  I study cultures.  Not yogurt ones, human ones.  I find it quite interesting, particularly when blended with sociology, history, geography and/or political science.  In fact, the hardest part for me when studying is not going off and researching tangents that are only vaguely related to the topic at hand.  The connections between people, whether individuals or groups, are absolutely fascinating to me.  I hope to write lots and lots of interesting books on that topic in the future.  For now I can test out my ability to communicate with the masses in this blog.  So, are any of you studying or working in the field of anthropology?  Are any of you just interested in the topic?  Were you aware there were no dinosaurs involved?  Let me know.

Existentialism Over Pasta

Talking with my dad over dinner, as we do sometimes, we tend to discuss many subjects: politics, history, culture, physics, astronomy, philosophy, quantum mechanics, etc.  Today, over various topics, we got to talking about concepts the human brain can’t comprehend.  So far I’ve pinpointed a few: infinity, no time (as in before the big bang, if there was no time before it), and no existence (same as no time).  Any other concepts you can think of?  Why?  Do you disagree and think we CAN comprehend any of these concepts?